Tears
by Chocobro
Summary: Cloud visits Aerith's resting place on the third anniversary of her death. Heartbroken and grieving, Cloud tries to keep himself together, but learns that it's okay to be honest with his feelings, even if that means crying every now and then. Though, his visit ends with him shedding tears for entirely different reasons. Clerith Month (Day 1 Theme - Teardrops)


A/N: Hello all! This short story is about Cloud visiting Aerith's resting place on the third anniversary of her death. Though heartbroken and grieving, Cloud tries to keep himself together, but learns that it's okay to be honest with your feelings and cry every now and then.

Story written for Clerith Month (Day 1 Theme - Teardrops)

* * *

 **TEARS**

A raindrop had fallen from the sky, beginning the next of the many rainy days the Northern Continent seemed that it couldn't escape.

The sound of the soft pitter-patter of the light falling rain in the Sleeping Forest was met with the roar of a motorcyle engine that barreled through the puddles obscuring the Sleeping Forest path.

A sadness was caught in the blonde soldier's eyes as he made his way back to the place he despised most, even moreso than the pain his own hometown had brought him, because it was here where he had lost _her_.

And yet, he came back, as he had done on this day for the past three years. The hurt in his heart, the cracking, tearing feeling that had ripped its' way through his heart for the past three years had never healed; his heart never was able to be restored after losing her. Even as the days and weeks past and life went on, the feelings he had for the lost flower girl outweighed all else and even beyond death, the blonde soldier never let go of the undying feelings that had formed in his heart since the moment he met her - Aerith, the flower girl of Midgar, the last Cetra, the one that had opened his eyes to the world and changed him, as he had done for her.

Cloud drove forward until he arrived at the Forgotten Capitol, the ancient and mysterious place where the Cetra had formed their first settlement. He parked his motorcycle off at the side of the road made of shell and dirt and dismounted the motorcycle. He went to the back of the bike to where he had kept his delivery items whenever he was out on the job and retrieved the item he had brought for her on this day.

He looked over the bouquet of white and yellow lillies and closed his eyes, a heavy sigh escaping him, as he went back to the place where he lost her. The pain never got any easier and his return always brought with it an overwhelming sense of guilt and failure.

But his return was for her - for her memory, for her remembrance, for everything that she meant to him. When he thought of it that way, he would do anything if it was for her. He'd go to someplace he'd hated, he'd fight an army of the Weapon creatures, he'd take on the most powerful company in the world, hell, he'd willingly spend every day for the rest of his life fighting Sephiroth if it meant doing it for her. He couldn't help but think og his own transformation. When he thought of all that he would do for her, it seemed like that cold and silent soldier that didn't give a damn about the world seemed so distant now.

It wasn't just his world he was saving and protecting, or just hers, for that matter, but _theirs_.

As he made his way down the path that cut through the dark forest at the heart of the lost capitol, another small tug pulled at Cloud's heart, each step taking him closer and closer to the place where he had lost her.

He looked down at the flowers in his hands, ones that he had collected from the rolling flower fields outside of Edge. In the endless fields of flowers, Cloud had often wandered and every time, Aerith's soul, her presence, would appear to him from the Lifestream. Even beyond death, they remained connected, their souls, their hearts were intertwined in ways the blonde couldn't quite understand even now.

There, Cloud was able to talk with her, see her smile, hear her laugh, feel the way her hands grasped his to lead him down through the flowers, before she'd always find a spot to sit and enjoy the view, Cloud sitting right beside her, shoulder to shoulder. It was like an escape from the world, a haven of peace and happiness - the Promised Land, as Aerith had told him. Her own Promised Land, which is why she was able to manifest her soul there from the Lifestream.

He'd come nearly every day and spent hours with her. It was their own world, their own place of happiness where the two of them could be together and find one another even beyond death. Still, reality would soon arrive and knock the wind out of Cloud, as if he was kicked hard, when she'd begin to fade back to the Lifestream and he was left traveling the world on his own again.

She was with him, but it broke his heart entirely to see the future that had once been prophesized for them never be able to come true. And that's what hurt the most, Aerith didn't just open his eyes to the world around him, she opened his eyes to a life he never knew he wanted. It was her that made him feel noticed and important. It was her that made him feel emotions that made his heart soar and glow in ways they never had, which opened his mind to the idea that someone could possibly fall in love with someone like him. It was her that made him realize all the different feelings that came with finding someone to love.

And that's why it was so painful. On that day three years ago, in a moment, it was all gone.

Before he'd even taken another step closer to the crystalline lake that became her final resting place, he could already feel the cold, harsh sting of the tears that formed in his eyes, ones he'd never let anyone see. His jaw clenched and his chest burned as he continued forward, taking in another sharp breath as if to somehow keep the tears from falling.

He was only a few feet away from the lake now and couldn't bear the sadness anymore. He slowly shut his eyes and continued down towards the lake's edge, stopping just short of the water's clear, beautiful surface. He stood there for a long moment, taking in the silence, the peacefulness, he eyes still closed, separating him from the rest of the world. A tranquil peace carried through this place even years later and he could at least find some means of gratitude in that.

Quietly, he lowered himself down to his knees and placed the beautiful bouquet of flowers on the water's edge, as the carnations slowly dirfted off into the center of the lake, leaving a trail of light flower petals that covered and spread out about the water's surface.

He finally opened his eyes then, watching as the flower petals swirled along the surface of the water and took in another deep breath.

"Hey. I hope you like the flowers. I know they're your favorite." Cloud spoke out to the space before him softly, but his heart was speaking to her. "I also brought these. I'd figured you'd like this just as much."

He reached into his pocket and pulled out two tickets - the tickets the two of them had received from the ticket booth the night they rode the gondola at the Gold Saucer on their magical date. Cloud shook his head and let out a sad, low chuckle, "I-I know you probably thought I tossed them, but...I-I didn't, because that night meant...so much to me, Aerith."

The space around his eyes had become red and irritated then as the tears began building in his eyes, "You mean so much to me, Aerith..." He continued speaking from his heart, his voice breaking and shaking with overwhelming emotion. He placed the tickets down at the enbankment. "Thank you for everything. You saved us all, Aerith...and even after all this time, I still can't forgive myself for-"

He'd stopped himself again, overcome with his sadness yet again. Aerith had convinced him time and time again to let go of his guilt, that her death was not his fault, but being there at that place of eternal sadness, he regressed. He'd tried so hard to fight against the feelings of failure and guilt, but some days, the fight was just not one he'd win and today was one of those days.

He breathed out, fighting back the tears some more, "Barret asks about you every day. Tifa and Marlene really miss you. I talk to Denzel about you all the time and he really wishes he'd been able to meet you."

Something broke inside Cloud then and he couldn't control it anymore.

A teardrop fell from his eyes. Then another. And another, as the strong soldier broke down at the resting place of the woman he lost. He breathed quickly and trembled, his whole body shaking. He looked down into the lake, his teardrops causing ripples to spread out along the water's surface.

Cloud broke down and cried, his voice trembling with sadness, "I think about you all the time and now that I'm here, it feels like you're really gone." Another teardrop and then another as he broke down. "And I don't know how to live the rest of my life without you." He gasped for breath as he sobbed over her resting place. He wiped the tears from his eyes and tried to regain himself. "I miss you. Aerith, I...I..."

A shimmering aura appeared around and within the lake then and an impulse of light shot from within the lake and seemed to spread out throughout the entire Forgotten Capitol. Cloud lifted his head and stared before him, confused, the tears still staining his face.

"I missed you, too," said Aerith, behind him.

Cloud froze in place, hearing _her_ voice. His heart leapt, his breath hastened and when he turned around to see her standing only a few feet behind her, he felt like he was nearly dreaming. But there she stood, just like she always was, her brunette hair braided back in a long braid that went down to her waist, her pink dress and her short red jacket.

But then, there was her smile, that smile he'd silently adored but stole glances at whenever he'd could. Her brilliant smile almost matched her impressive eyes, which were only one of Cloud's many favorite parts of her.

He stood in place, his breath caught in his throat. He felt like this was just another vision, a cruel trick by some demon or other deity. He'd go to her and she'd disappear or pass right through her. "This...this can't be real..."

Aerith smiled and placed her hands behind her back, leaning forward to the blonde, "I told you I'd be back when it was all over, didn't I?"

Cloud shook his head, still in disbelief, "What? H-how? This can't be possible."

She slowly approached him and crept down to her knees to join him on the ground in front of him, "It is, Cloud. I told you I'd be back when the time would come and now, it has. My soul, my energy, traveled the planet for a long time, with you for most of it, until I found myself back in the Lifestream. I thought I was going to return to the Planet, but then I heard the voices and cries from within it and they said I was going to be go back to where I belong...and they led me here, to you."

Cloud felt his heart lift, seeing the woman he'd lost return to him when he though all possibility was futile. Yet, there she stood before him, her smile unfrozen after the years of being apart from one another. She smiled beautifully at him and the sight formed new tears in his eyes, "Aerith, you're...really..."

"Mhm," she delicately brought her hand up, as if the slightest move would break him, and placed it on his cheek, feeling the warm, smoothness of his face.

When she'd caressed his face, he gave a sharp intake of breath, feeling her gentle, yet so familar touch. His lips twitched upwards and his heart soared. He knew then. "You're real. This is real. Aerith...you're back."

"And I'm not leaving you ever again, bodyguard," she smiled.

Before she could even finish, Cloud wrapped his strong arms around Aerith's slender waist and pulled him towards him into the most comfortable, heartfelt embrace. She leaned her head down into the solid chest and smiled against the fabric of his vest, feeling so secure, so protected in the care of her bodyguard, as if nothing in this world could possibly harm her while she was in the comfort of his arms. She listened to Cloud's heartbeat, feeling as though it was about to burst out of his chest. He'd never been so happy in his life then he was in that moment when he was holding his flower girl in his arms again. Aerith snuggled closer into his chest and her hands went up to delicately trace down his strong shoulder blades.

Cloud held her tightly, as if he wasn't ever going to let her go even if the world depended on it. He gently squeezed her waist and after a quick moment of uncertainty, rested his spiky-blonde head down on top of hers. The scent of flowers and lavender overwhelmed his senses, just like they had the first time they'd met. He felt the softness of her skin and trailed a hand down through her long brunette hair. He didn't know what'd he'd done to deserve having this angel return in his arms or how he'd become so _damn_ lucky, but he knew that he was going to spend every day of the rest of his life protecting her, honoring her and proving to her how he felt like the luckiest guy in the world to have her back.

The two stayed in their embrace for a long while, the low rumbling sound of thunder echoing from the outside world beyond the woods. But there, in that place where they'd lost one another, they found each other again...and that was all they needed and wanted.

Aerith pulled back slightly from the embrace when she heard Cloud give a deep intake of breath and shook slightly. "Cloud?"

He leant forward and hid his face in her shoulder, not letting go of her.

Aerith looked closely at the strong, blonde soldier in her arms and saw the teardrops falling from his face, "Cloud, you're crying."

"No, I'm not," he quickly said back in response, failing at hiding his face.

"Yes, you are," she smirked at him and brought a hand up to play through his hair.

"No, I'm not."

"Cloud, I can see you," Aerith replied with a small chuckle and brought her hands up to his face to wipe the tears away.

New, fresh tears spilled down his cheeks when he looked up and smiled at her, "I missed you, Aerith. I've wanted this more than anything and now that you're back, I don't know what to say. I don't ever want to be without you again, Aerith. I'd stay by your side forever, if you'd let me."

Aerith felt her own tears well up in her eyes then, tears of happiness and love, everything she'd felt with her bodyguard. Cloud's words moved her, especially with how direct and openly honest he was about his feelings, when he was usually quite silent. Though, with emotions being high and her return to the living world being an altogether miracle, she didn't blame him for his outspoken display of emotion.

She smiled brilliantly at him when she felt her gloved hand rise to her cheek and gently wipe the teardrops away.

"Now, you're the one who's crying," Cloud flashed her a cocky smirk underneath his teary eyes.

"I'm just...happy, Cloud. Don't worry. What you said means so much to me..." Aerith wrapped her arms around his waist and brought him into her for another embrace. "I want to make every moment I have on the Planet count and I...I want to spend it with you, Cloud."

"Me too, Aerith. I've always wanted this and now that I have it, I-," he leaned his head down and placed his forhead against Aerith's, their embrace closing in the space between them again. He opened his eyes and looked into her, "Aerith, I..."

Aerith smiled up at him, her eyes sparkling up at his.

He gulped and chuckled to himself, nervously, "I...I-I want to be with you, always..."

"And from here on out, you will be," she smiled and took his hand in hers, leading him away from the lake. "Come on, bodyguard. We have a whole world out there to explore."

Cloud smiled and nodded, "And I know just how we can do it."

Aerith looked up at him, curious.

He looked down at her and chuckled, "Well, I always meant to take you on a trip on the Highwind..."

Aerith's eyes lit up and a glowing smile appeared on her face.

Cloud smiled down at the beaming, excited expression on her face. "I think it's time I pay up and get you on that thing. We can go on our own adventure around the earth and sky, just you and me. Sound good?"

Aerith smiled and nodded, gently squeezing his hand, "Sounds amazing. I suppose I'll have to owe you a few more dates during this adventure to make up for it?"

"I'd happily accept them," Cloud said back, before giving her an exaggerated sad expression, "But only a few of them?"

Aerith chuckled and teased, "I didn't know my strong, handsome bodyguard was so fond of dates. Must've been the the sword and tough exterior that fooled me."

Cloud laughed and shook his head, "Well, I'm fond of dates if they're with you..."

"Then, I'll just have to give you as many of them as I can," Aerith finished, smiling back a him. Before she could take another step, Cloud lightly took hold of her arm and stopped her.

"Hey."

She turned back to him and smiled up at him, curious. "What is it?"

"I'm happy..." He said to her, but moreso to himself _for himself_ to hear. "Aerith, with you, I'm just...so _happy_."

He felt the tears well up in his eyes again. All those possibilites that seemed lost before, all the happiness she had given him, the future he and her were destined to share together, all at once they returned to him and his heart lifted in extraordinary ways.

Aerith gently brought her hands up to his cheeks again and wiped away the new tears, "No more sad tears, okay?"

"Got it," Cloud smiled and embraced her again, pulling her up against his strong build. He smiled when she rested her head down on his chest.

Aerith smiled up at him, "See? I told you everything would be alright."

Cloud nodded and smiled, looking up at the sky before them. The drops of rain had stopped and out of the dark, clouded sky above them, rays of sunlight finally broke through to the surface, covering the earth in their warm glow.

Cloud quietly looked down at the flower girl in his arms. Her presence was like the sun, the bright warm glow that pushed away the darkness that surrounded him and made him lose his way. But now she was back and she wasn't going anywhere.

Cloud's smile down at her almost matched the brightness of the sun. He fought back a few more tears when his heart filled with happiness as he thought...

 _I'm so damn in love with her._

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Thank you every one for reading! I hope you enjoyed it! I'll be posting more entries for Clerith Month throughout the next several weeks and I can't wait to continue writing these short stories for this wonderful couple!


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